I’m pretty sure that I am fully acclimated to our modern world in which things like texting, instant messaging, email and other sorts of instantaneous, electronic communication exist. Since most people have a smart phone and it is assumed that the device is on one’s person at all times, if a message is sent and not immediately replied to it seems as though something was wrong with the message you sent or that the person who responded to that message doesn’t like you. At least that’s how you think if you are a socially anxious person. I don’t really know how normal people respond to this. They probably think rational things like “Hey! This person didn’t respond because they are driving, or eating or playing kickball! BECAUSE KICKBALL IS FUN!!!!” Okay, maybe acclimated isn’t the right word.(Okay, before editing I initially wrote the word “write” It’s funny because that’s the wrong word. Also, lol at the idea that I edit.) Maybe function moderately in our modern world is accurate. I don’t know, maybe this introduction doesn’t make any sense.
What I’m trying to get at is that if I send an electronic communication and I don’t get replied to quickly I get really sad and hate myself. So the example I’m thinking of is, as mentioned before, I am in the midst of job hunting and recently I have received an invitation for multiple interviews at a company. (Maybe if I call it A Company you now will think I am promoting a real place with a very unoriginal name. Or not, I don’t know, you just, just skip this part) throughout each interview I, of course, assumed I did terribly but then weird things would happen and I would get called again for the next one. Each step of the process involved the same thing. The recruiter would call and say “YOU DID IT. YOU’RE THE BEST. LET’S SET UP MORE INTERVIEWS YOU BEST PERSON EVER!!!!!” Okay, I’m paraphrasing. They would call and say I got to the next step and then they would set me up with a new person to do the new interview. The problem was the set up for the next interview took a day or so and in this waiting period I would sit and wonder about how I reacted to the recruiter and just assumed I said something stupid that made them second guess their decision because I’m a stupid ass-face.
Like, instead of face, my face is an ass. It doesn’t make sense really, the recruiter saw me in person. They know that I likely have an ass where asses go and a face where faces go but that’s not how my brain works. In the midst of a call giving me good news I automatically assume the butt where face goes thing is….why am I spending so much time on the butt-face thing.
Okay, this is full of so many asides.
Look, I’m scared that the person who called and invited me to another interview would instead change their mind and cancel that interview. It wrecks me forever. It’s terrible. I don’t know how I exist with such an ailment. I hope you enjoyed this you weird butt-face.