Job Interviews, Drugs and 80’s Cartoons. Wouldn’t It Be Crazy to Do All Three At Once?

I was supposed to have a final interview today. It was for a job that would have paid me more than double what I’ve ever made and last night was sleepless as I was extremely nervous. I was sure that I’d choke or that I was being given a courtesy interview or something. It doesn’t really make sense when you consider it’s the 4th interview or so in a long process and investing that much time into a courtesy would be odd and if that’s the case there’s a part of me that knows I’m better than that anyways.

Today that interview was rescheduled, which is frustrating just because I will get to go through the anxiety again and for the entire week I will just assume I won’t get the job in time for my big move. In fact, the thought I have right now is that I am expendable and because of that the interviewer just decided to reschedule. Of course, I have no idea why the rescheduling happened. Something bad could have happened to them and their family and it probably has nothing to do with me whatsoever but this is pretty much how I operate. Any sort of negative thing that happens (is this really even negative? Not really when you think about it) is because I am an awful person who can never succeed but if any of this was true why would I have the interview rescheduled instead of just cancelled.

Regardless though I am thinking of the consequences of not getting a job soon. I’m starting to check Craigslist to see if there’s any good dope dealers to work with. I’m not sure how to go about finding one though there’s a good chance that you don’t look on Craigslist. Maybe Indeed? I don’t think I should mention this when I interview for heroin dealer I suppose. I don’t want to seem inexperienced plus do they interview by Skype? It’s not appealing to drive another 13 hours to Boston from South Bend. Okay, I have an idea. How about someone out there pay me a lot of money to write thing! Think about it, you’d save a man from extreme anxiety. High stress leads to health problems you know. So it’s kind of like charity in a way except it’s me exchanging a skill for money so it isn’t! Think of the clear conscience you’d receive. Wouldn’t that be the best? Oh, and you’d help the war on drugs. It would be way more effective than that crappy Cartoon All-Stars show from the 80’s or whenever. Do you remember that show? God damn it was a letdown.

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