I Got a Handle on Life. Wait, There’s Pee on the Handle. That’s Gross!

I went pee today. I work in a mall like building. Some people call it a “mall” I guess. Whatever, I don’t like labels. And in this mall there is a bathroom. I’m sure you can see where this is going. (heh, going. Like, as in, pee) I used the bathroom in the mall. When I did so I used the urinal. It was a nice urinal I suppose. I wouldn’t have eaten out of it or anything but in terms of freshness I suppose it was the dopest urinal on the block though I haven’t exactly tested every urinal on the block I just assume because a majority of the buildings on the block are apartments and only weirdos have urinals in their apartment. Regardless, I don’t have the time to urinal test. I’m a working man and working men use urinals!

Oh, I suppose you’re looking for a point this. Well, in my use of urinals I touched the handle to flush and as I did so the fucking thing was wet. That’s gross. I have no idea what would cause the handle of a urinal to be wet but I don’t suppose the answer is one that I would enjoy. I checked my hand for sores or something because I don’t need stranger pee in my blood. That’s just setting up for a not so good experience as far as I’m concerned. This motivated me to wash my hands for about 20 minutes straight because that shit is gross. Now I have no pee on my hands and we can all be friends! Except for the dude who made the urinal handle wet. That dude sucks and I hate him. Let’s ridicule that fucker forever.

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