Dreams and The Real World; How Plausible Is It? Plus, I Just Used a Semi-Colon….Likely Incorrectly But I Don’t Give a Shit Because Semi-Colons Are Fucking Incredible.

“I have a dream” That’s a original….where have we heard that before? Definitely not on some whiny dude’s blog before. “Give 110 percent” What does that mean? It feels like generic filler more than anything. Something that is said because someone doesn’t know what else to say. Ultimately it means try harder than hard but mostly it’s a saying that doesn’t really make any sense. It’s really unfair to lump in a generic sports cliche with a legendary speech from Martin Luther King Jr. so I don’t know why I did that. My bad.

The point is though the ideas of dreams and effort are linked but what does it really mean to try your very best at something? It seems like a simple thing but maybe it isn’t. Or maybe it is simple but we reward giving maximum effort to one thing too greatly when it involves sacrificing other aspects of life.

I made a declaration to myself today. I’m going to give my best effort to devote as much time as I can to writing. And to self improvement and maybe…to my job.

A job, it’s a thing I do in exchange for money. I guess it’s a normal thing to do but it certainly doesn’t match 100 percent with what I’d prefer to be doing with my life. Not that I necessarily hate the thing nor am I bad at it. But that begs the question, what do you do if what you are doing with your life isn’t 100 percent what you want to do. I’ve heard people say “go for it” with the subtle implication being quit your job and chase what you want to do and while to some level this is admirable….it’s pretty fucking reckless. If I quit my job today I would harm not just myself but other people as well. Sure the extra 50-60 hours a week would be nice to have in some capacity but to just up and quit for a long shot pipe dream….I’m sorry, it’s reckless. This means I do what I can to achieve my dream outside of work hours but my obsession with tackling my dreams makes it so work can seem like an obstacle at times, which is unfair to the job that pays me. It doesn’t mean I don’t try my best at the job but it does mean my heart is elsewhere.

This means I have to compromise. When I have a moment, the second a thought pops into my head I have to throw the idea on a piece of paper. I only write when it feels right and will no longer force it. I have a lot of mental clutter caused by anxiety and made worse by things like social media and other aspects of the internet and entertainment. By clearing these things out of my mind I can still give my all at my job, which is important but also still allow myself to chase my dreams. I can learn to excel in things that matter and not so much in the weird online world where we seek momentary approval of people we don’t know. I’m learning more and more that the clearer I can make my mind…the more active creatively I can be. My mind wants to excel and create and do amazing things….I just have to let it.

Sometimes I feel like the stuff I write is nothing but stream of consciousness nonsense that really doesn’t fit together in any kind of cohesive way but oh well.

2 thoughts on “Dreams and The Real World; How Plausible Is It? Plus, I Just Used a Semi-Colon….Likely Incorrectly But I Don’t Give a Shit Because Semi-Colons Are Fucking Incredible.

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